Saturday, 8 August 2009

Physical Discipline

Well, my first post in nearly six months! I’ve just been enjoying the city I love and the summer…for values of as much of a summer as this lovely island ever gets ;)

And, though I have been terribly remiss in writing here, the topics have stood in my mind. If there is anything I am most sure and confident of in life, it’s that I believe in traditional gender roles and a woman’s need to be guided and led by a man.

The sometimes unsaid aspect of that dynamic is, of course, the need for discipline. I wrote once about discipline in general, about a woman’s need for a man to hold her accountable for her behaviour.

But, I didn’t discuss any specific types of discipline. So, I thought I would elaborate a bit on why I find physical discipline to be an important part of a traditional relationship.

I don’t think it should be the only kind of discipline in the relationship, there are other things that are just as important. But I do think physical discipline has its place. I think, for me, it's a bit different than it probably is for most. Whilst I find the idea of physical discipline very attractive and appealing, I don't enjoy the discipline itself at all! I hate pain and physical discipline is, to me, just what it should be - a painful and unpleasant experience that I try to avoid.

It's a gray area...I find the idea of physical discipline attractive because it represents the dynamic between my partner and I, because it signifies his power and my lack thereof...and because it makes me feel feminine and cared for and it reminds me that though I'm strong, he is stronger. And lastly, it is a very intimate act that stands as something only the two of us share.

When I've misbehaved, I'm disappointed in myself and regretful that I disappointed my partner...and I dread whatever punishment I will receive for my behaviour. But at the same time, I look forward to what the punishment will do and what it will mean. I look forward to feeling feminine and cared for, knowing that my partner has my well-being and our relationship at the forefront of his mind.

And I look forward to seeing and feeling his masculinity...I think that's the crux of why physical discipline is important in a relationship. It highlights the man's masculinity just as much as it highlights the woman's femininity. It brings to the surface some of the biological aspects that make men and women different and it does so in a manner that other types of discipline can't.

And though other types of punishments, restrictions for example, have their place, I don't think they bring those biological differences to the surface nearly as much. Sometimes, in order for me to feel my partner's power and dominance and to truly understand that I disobeyed, I need to feel his power. I need to feel his physical strength.

Further, it is the only form of discipline that is special between he and I. If I speed whilst driving, the courts can punish me through financial means or through taking away my licence...and my partner may do the latter when I get home! But only my partner can use such a powerful and immediate punishment as a is that thing that only he can do to me.

There is, of course, a level of responsibility that he has to exercise. This is true with the entire relationship, but more so with physical discipline...I want to be able to trust my partner so much that I trust him to punish me with his physical strength, knowing that he won't hurt me, that he uses that physical strength because he loves me.

I think for me, physical discipline is a necessary component in overall discipline because it adds a level of intimacy, trust and power into the relationship that nothing else can replicate.


Anonymous said...

"I think for me, physical discipline is a necessary component in overall discipline because it adds a level of intimacy, trust and power into the relationship that nothing else can replicate."

I agree! :)

Anonymous said...

The the right relationship acceptance of physical discipline is important in showing acceptance of authority and feminine submission. But it even then it must always be an absolute last resort, used only to correct persistent disobedience or improper behaviour.

It must be purely corrective and never a form of sexual gratification. Otherwise it becomes exploitation by the man and /or unladylike and unfeminine behaviour by the woman.

Anonymous said...

I agree too, this is very important for every relationship. We (me and my boyfriend) live together are are planning our wedding. I am disciplined by him and it makes our relationship so strong. I agree with every word you wrote, wonderful article :)