Sunday, 27 April 2008

A few interesting articles

I've been happily knee-deep in intellectualism for much of the weekend and I spent a good few hours today wandering London's literary mecca on Charing Cross Road. I was actually in (successful) pursuit of a book on British politics because I'm geeky enough that it struck me as a fun topic for bedtime reading ;)

But I also wandered the sections of my other loves...psychology, sociology, philosophy, etc. I even stomached the women's studies/feminism section at Foyles for a few minutes. Every time I go into a bookstore, I'm hopeful that suddenly, the women's studies section will include some book written by a woman who isn't delusional and angry, a woman who understands that our feminine qualities are our greatest assets, not weaknesses. But, alas, all I saw were things talking about men as the enemy, etc, and I felt myself getting grumpy so I moved on.

I even started on my own delusion for a few minutes whilst I stood there, that maybe I would write a book. But a) I don't think I could manage the motivation! b) it would most likely be a dreadful and incomprehensible book and c) the book, I really think, would have to be under a pseudo name. And in the off chance it wasn't dreadful, I'd be so proud of myself that I'd want to tell everyone I know and I wouldn't be able to. So the book will probably never be written ;)

But I've also spent time over the weekend using the wonders of the 21st century, indulging my intellectual curiosity on my laptop, from my comfy couch :) And in doing so, I was able to find what I couldn't find in the women's studies section at the bookstore...articles that promote and celebrate gender differences and the old-fashioned notion of chivalry.

They're actually all written by the same person, Dr. Terrence Moore...a man who seems like one of the few sane people left on this planet ;)

The first article, "Heather's Compromise: Settling for Mr. Right Now," discusses things from the frustrated and somewhat depressing perspective of women today. The article says that there are three types of women today, none of whom are finding what we really want and need - a true gentleman. There's the party girl, who neither has nor wants any relationship fulfillment, she just wants instant gratification. There's the girlfriend, the woman who bounces from man to man, desperately hoping he's The One, but always ending up alone. And then there's the romantic, who is waiting for the actual One, yet is frustrated that he just doesn't seem to exist.

I think I'm in that last category...at least I hope I am and as frustrated as I am, I have to think and hope that there are a few single true gentlemen left in this world and that I'll find one who also has all those other qualities I want :)

The second article, "A Return to Chivalry?," is a fascinating article on what the youth of today think about chivalry. I started to quote things from the article here, but I was nearly quoting the entire thing! Dr. Moore even quoted the fabulous Christina Hoff Sommers, author of "Who Stole Feminism?," It's one of those articles where I found myself nodding emphatically, yet sadly...because in some ways it was further confirmation that I am in fact one of the few traditional ones left. But on the other hand, the article gives me hope - as does this blog - that maybe there are quite a few of us who feel that chivalry is honourable and not dead...it's just that none of us really know how to say so.

The last article, "Wimps and Barbarians: The Sons of Murphy Brown," discusses families today and how current and future generations of men aren't being allowed or directed to be men...and we, society, are suffering from that lack of direction. As with the first two articles, it is a fascinatingly eye-opening, if not depressing, look at where society is heading with our abandonment of traditional gender roles.

So...in some ways I'm comforted to read that I'm not losing my mind, that others think as I do. But in other ways...are traditional roles dying out? Are those of us who hope to find true gentlemen simply kidding ourselves?

I don't know...but again, I'll continue to hope he's out there :)

1 comment:

Mr.C. said...

Time is short, hence I find myself unable to address the many issues raised here in an adequate fashion.
However:

Certain thoughts permeate our society until they become society. Thus we have 8 year old girls wanting to diet and wear sexy panties. We have countless women miserable because they do not and never will reach the ideal of what a woman 'should' look like. We have countless men who are dissatisfied because their woman does not look like, and never will look like the latest female icon.
That ideal is driven by industry of one kind or another, film, media, fashion, cosmetics, publishing, advice columns etc.
It is big business.

Thus we have an entire industry based on permeating society with the idea that manly virtues are in fact vices. Men are bombarded with this just as women are bombarded with the details I have outlined above. It is hardly surprising that so many men actually come to believe that very same thing. I actually see them extolling their 'feminine side' in the hopes that they may be able to attract a woman in that way. They flash their 'feminine side' in the same way a fire fly flashes light. Men themselves denigrate masculinity in the hope of gaining favour. It is quite pathetic, but hardly surprising.
When it comes to driving an idea, big business knows what it is doing.

I have a highly feminine taken in hand girl.
I love her desperately
I adore her
I admire her
I like her
I respect her
I need her
I want her
I desire her

But

I do know better than her
I will do what is right for her
I will hold her accountable
I demand and expect certain levels of behaviour from her
I will protect her from herself, others and even my own self.
I will have respect and obedience

Or

I will punish, scold or spank her as I see fit.

Of course I am out of step with society as it now is, and quite frankly I couldn't care less.

In an aside, I am very impressed with your thoughts, beliefs and attitudes to the taken in hand issue. You are obviously a very sensible girl.