Friday, 4 January 2008

Guidance and Discipline

In light of my last post, I've been pondering guidance and discipline and how they play a role in a traditional relationship. Lol, and since it's been so very long since that last post, it seems I'm lacking in discipline! But here it is, finally...my sad little post on why guidance and discipline are so vital to a traditional relationship.

Well firstly, I'm lumping these two topics into one post because I feel strongly that they are interdependent on each other - guidance cannot succeed without discipline and discipline without guidance is just abuse. Additionally, I think that discipline is the best tool to assist a man in guiding his woman/wife.

For example, a husband could require his wife to speak like a lady and in doing so, he is guiding her to be a better person. But he can't literally keep her from using foul language, so she will most definitely slip at least a few times. So, if there were no discipline and the wife used foul language, what tools does the husband have to correct her behaviour? None. And if the husband doesn't set limits and correct her behaviour, his authority comes into question and her well-being is in jeopardy, as her behaviour won't change. She needs to be given limits, she needs to be punished in order for her behaviour to improve. Conversely, a husband who punishes his wife for using foul language without telling her she should not use such language is merely being abusive - she should not be punished for something she didn't even know she was doing. Guidance must always precede discipline.

The overall purpose to guidance and discipline, in my mind, is twofold: it solidifies the man's authority and it protects and betters the woman as a person. It is, in many ways, the crux of the entire relationship.

Traditionally and historically, women spent their entire lives under the guidance of a man. A woman grew up under her father's lead and then went directly to live under her husband's lead. It was incomprehensible to society that a woman would ever live independently, as she was thought to be too vulnerable and too emotional to exist on her own.

And here is where I do agree with the strides that feminism has made over the last century. We now know that women aren't complete helpless idiots :) We can exist on our own, some of us are even independent and competent enough to move ourselves across oceans, all alone ;)

But I do agree that in order to reach her full potential, in order for a woman to truly blossom, she must follow the guidance and lead of a man. Without such guidance, she can exist, perhaps even happily, but not completely.

Why? What does she gain? What does she lose without the guidance?

Well, there are exceptions of course, but overall, men are the logical gender. They have more ingrained self-discipline, they are less emotional, they are more skilled decision-makers than women. Through guidance, a woman gains confidence, love for her man and respect for his judgment and authority.

For example, with my struggle to write this very post, this would be a 95% nonissue if I were under the guidance of a man. My inability/unwillingness to write would have been met with consequences and those consequences would have motivated me to write! That isn't to say I would write as soon as I was told without question - I'm opinionated, stubborn and lazy. But if I delayed completing the task I was guided to do, my man would have disciplined me for my disobedience. And that discipline would have motivated me to follow his guidance.

I am, due to my femininity, just not self-disciplined enough to make this as painless as it could be ;) and the thing is, I want to write. I'm just such a ridiculous perfectionist that I make it seem like a huge project to write a post - it has to be thoughtful, intelligent-sounding and god forbid there are any typos or grammatical errors! But I make such a big deal of it that I procrastinate - for months. If I were under the guidance of a man, that guidance would motivate me to finish projects such as this one.

So this is nowhere near all I wanted to say on the topic, nor is it as thoughtful as I intended it to be, but at least it's a snippet of my thoughts on the matter. At least it's posted! But I still hate that it's nowhere near perfect :/

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed your post very much; it's a very well-written exploration of a theme I'm very interested in. I hope you'll continue writing!